Monday, March 20, 2017

Aya BEKKOUCHE/ draft2-Chap1B2/Prose and Paragraphs/Wed12

While this reading makes sense and provides a lot of logical facts and assumptions, I was a bit skeptical about it. Birth order is one of the many ways we can use to explain people's behaviors and personalities but it is not an absolute method and it certainly is not applicable everywhere.

 

In order to clarify my point, let me start by giving you a quick description of myself, as the oldest child of my family, according to the readings.

As stated by Forer, being the oldest child turns me into a responsible proud child with a constant need for perfection and a parental behavior and a reserved nature that leads into discomfort when it comes to making friends.

As for withers, she assumes that my birth order makes me more content with fewer people if not one companion so visibly according to her the best match for me would be a youngest, that way I could act like a leader and wouldn't have to let go of my parental behavior.

What Forer and Withers have to say about my personality as the oldest child of my family is correct but only to a certain extent and in a conventional perspective.  

 First, it is true that I am a bit perfectionist and I do worry too much. Overthinking is my second name which leads to stress, anxiety and reluctance into taking initiative. However, I have no particular struggle to approach people or socialize with people. Alone time is certainly a necessity but till, I like having friends and I wouldn't say that it is hard for me to make them.

 Second I do have a bit of a high ego and criticism does dent my pride at first, but with time I always try to listen to what I am accused of being or doing too much (or too little) and accept it.

Third, I am quite confident about my abilities, but I am also very realistic about it. So even if I assume that I fit better than X or Y in certain situations I try to stay realistic and have no problem admitting when someone is better at dealing with a situation better than I am. Even when I didn't think so at the beginning.

Now going back to Withers, let me just say that the farther I went into the reading, the more irrelevant it was to me. Denying all of it would be unfair, indeed. I admit that I feel more comfortable when I control, lead and nurture all at once. But, as far as I am concerned, and that might be totally out of point, I think that a relationship is not about finding the best match for you but finding someone you care about enough to change some aspects of your temper and personality in order to match them. As my heart wasn't into it, I was not able to make an objective comparison.

Not to say that the reading is completely wrong, it makes some good points and is applicable but only to a certain extent. There are so many elements that could or could not play a role in building one's personality and obviously covering them up would take a lifetime, I believe two readings take one perspective and focus on it, leaving us readers free to relate or not and that itself is not a bad thing.

 

 

In conclusion, studying humans and their behaviors is a difficult task and if we ever decide to actually endorse that kind of responsibility, we shouldn't base our studies on ideologies like birth order, especially nowadays. A person shouldn't be limited by their birth order, nor their ethnicity, nor their social class, but a mix of everything that makes them what they really are.

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