Sunday, March 19, 2017

Sunyoung Park/Chapter 1 Part 5 B-2_FINAL/Wed 1-2

In chapter one, authors are talking about how birth order shapes one's characteristic and furthermore, how it will affect people when they are finding a match for them. All of the discussions brought up here are something we might have at least 'heard of'. Also we easily find people who judge or presume people based on what they unconsciously believe in which is basically what's showed in chapter 1. I agree that to some extent, these statements make sense, but we should know there are exceptional individual or family which these statements cannot be applied to. In additional, the differences are made by many other factors such as experience and people who they get along.


Forer says, when there are only adults present, which can happen in the family with only child, the bond between parents and a child is really strong. As I am the only child in my family, I certainly agree with this statement. When I compare myself with my friends who's not the only child, mostly I could say that I and my parents have stronger bond. Sometimes, we are as close as friends. As Forer says, I assume that is because I am the only present other than themselves in family. However, this shouldn't be and cannot be applied to every family because there are many other factors which affect the relationship between parents and children.

 

However, I don't agree with the next paragraph also written by Forer. It says since the only child doesn't have to change the perception of themselves which usually happens when new introduction of younger siblings has occur, they grow up to be a still child in the future relationship with others. I'm not sure what the author meant by 'being a child' but, it doesn't sound positive. It sounds the only child grow up to be rude, bossy and love-takers rather than givers. I want to explain that it is not true. Of course, to some extent, the onlies tend to be in the middle of attention but that doesn't mean they don't know how to care about others but themselves. It depends on people.

Moving on to Withers discussion, he is talking about two onlies who eventually end up badly in their marriage. I agree that if two onlies start as lovers, there will be a lot of quarrels between two of them. As wither says, the only child used to get constant attention from parents. So when both of spouses want to receive love other than give it to his mate at the same time, it will be hard for each of them to fulfill mate's expectation as well as his/her own's. I have not been in any serious relationship or even light relationship with 'only', so I cannot tell that this is absolutely true, but I guess that happens generally.

 

There are statements which seem reasonable, but also there are parts that I don't agree with. In conclusion, although most of them are accurate, it cannot be said that birth order decides individual's characteristic. I think one's personality depends on many other factors such as their friends, education or family atmosphere where they've grown up.




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