AyaBEKKOUCHE/itemB2p24/Wed1-2

As the oldest child of my family, I am supposedly, more responsible and more conscious of the adult life waiting for me at an earlier age than my other siblings. Which puts me under the pressure of pulling off the impression of myself as a child and act more like a parent. I also have a tendency to believe that I am better than my brother at a lot of things and that I fit better in most the situation I am put through. Presumably reserved and independent but also in need for everything to be perfect with an anxious behavior that prevents me from making friends easily. I am more content with fewer people if not one companion so visibly the best match for me would be a youngest, that way I could act like a leader and wouldn't have to let go of my parental nature and it would be natural for me to take care of my supposed partner.

What Forer and Withers have to say about my personality as the oldest child of my family is correct but only to a certain extent.  Denying all of this would be equivalent to lying. First, it is true that I am a bit perfectionist and I do worry too much and overthink everything which leads to stress, anxiety and reluctance into taking initiative. However, I have no particular struggle to approach people or socialize with people. Although I do feel the need to isolate myself and stay alone for a while after spending too much time with friends and that no matter how good that time might have been, I like having friends and I wouldn't say that it is hard for me to make them. Second I do have a bit of a high ego and criticism does dent my pride at first, but with time I always try to listen to what I am accused of being or doing too much and accept it. Third, I am quite confident about my abilities, but I am also very realistic about it. So even if I assume that I fit better than X or Y in certain situations I try to stay realistic and have no problem admitting when someone is better at dealing with something better than I am. Even when I didn't think so at the beginning. When it comes to how big a role my birth order plays in a relationship I admit that I feel more comfortable when I control, lead and nurture all at once. But, as far as I am concerned, and that might be totally irrelevant, I think that a relationship is not about finding the best match for you but finding someone you care about enough to change some aspects of your temper and personality in order to match them. Obviously they would have to do the same thing for you in order for the relationship to work. But that's just the cheesy thought I had while reading the text. Most of what is stated in the readings is relevant and logical but as every family lives under different circumstances, circumstances that Forer and Wither obviously cannot cover all, there are some distinctions that shouldn't be left out.   

Aya Bekkouche / 베쿠시 에야