Main idea
Both of the author's discussions are logical, but I believe that the whole discussion is what the majority of people unconsciously believe in. They are so used to hearing the birth order characteristics that it may come off as if every family's birth order and hierarchy are the same. My main idea is that I think it really depends on the person. We are all made different, and there is no way that this discussion applies to all families.
Writing
Forer thinks that the later children has many advantages because parents are more used to the idea of raising a child. Parents who struggled with the first child should be much more capable with raising the second child. She mentions that the later child in the family depends more on the parents than the first child. They won't be alone when parents aren't around because their older sibling(s) will always be there for them.
I agree to what's written above so far, but not with the next few written lines. It says that the later children don't feel a strong sense of loneliness even when the parent's attention is elsewhere nor do they feel much pressure as the older ones when they don't meet their parent's standards.
I disagree. I'm the youngest in the family and there are always people to take care of me and to accompany me. I'm so used to getting so much attention that once I'm left alone, I get the feeling of loneliness to the extreme that I get depressed. However, my older brother, is stronger than I am. He is independent and responsible. I'm sure he feels lonely as well as he is also a human being, but I know that he is stronger than me to overcome the feeling of loneliness. Sometimes I know that he's upset or lonely, but he doesn't show it. Seeing that, showed me and taught me the differences between the older child and the younger child. Like it's written in the text by Withers, the youngest knows how to win their parents over, by either pouting or being charming/sweet-talking. However, the older child doesn't act the same way because they feel the need to become the adult in the family.
Going back to Forer's discussion. I disagree with the part that mentions that the oldest child becomes parental towards the younger sibling, because that isn't the case. At least not in my family. Speaking of family, I believe that "I" am the one to become more parental towards my brother. My protective instinct increases especially when my parents aren't around. This isn't mentioned in the discussion, but I think it also has to do with the gender. I heard women has more protective instinct, especially when it comes to family.
Some of the points both author's mentioned are accurate. However there are parts that I didn't quite agree with. So in conclusion, I think that this is what the majority of people believe in. In my perspective, I think it depends on one's personality, their education, family atmosphere, and the environment that they were raised in.
*Supporting details are underlined
HiI am Aya from your Wednesday morning class!
ReplyDeleteIn general i think we have pretty much the same opinion about the readings, how some factors can't be ignored even if some points are accurate.
Another point that I related to was the 'gender' part. I am from Morocco and gender plays a big role in defining how a person grows up to be emotionally or in the society in general, the readings don't focus enough on that and it was interesting for you to point it out. (Even if i am the oldest child I do feel protective toward the people i care about no matter how older they are than me)
I was really impressed about the way you organized your arguments beause you were able to go back and forth between your own point of view and what was said in the readings without making it hard to follow. using expressions such as 'going back to..' 'speaking of...'
In very few sentences though I found a couple of words a bit redundant but i am not an expert in english so I wouldn't know!
Thank you for sharing your writing and feedback, I learned a lot from both.
Hi! I am Christina Woo from your class.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to know that you acknowledge my writing. We seem to have a lot in common on this topic!
Can you plese give me examples of words or sentences that seemed awkward to you, or is there anything I could do to imporve my writing?
I would really appreciate it.
Thank a lot, Aya!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI had a great pleasure reading your writing and as I said I am far from being an expert in English so everything I will say is really just from a personal point of view. So not that what you wrote was incorrect or less good it's just How I would have done it.
ReplyDelete( If you could share how you think of it that would be great ! )
"My point is that I think"---> I guess rather than I think I would have introduced the point directly to put the focus on it and then precise that it's my opinion.
"He is stronger than me to overcome" --> "he is strong enough to overcome it, unlike me"
So it's a very few details but as I repeat, I don't necessarily think it's an improvement, just another way of writing it :) I learned much more from your very clear organization and you did the most important : sending a message very clearly with no confusion.
See you in class Christina !
Hi~ I am hyobin Jeon. Your opinion is very interesting for me because your final conclusion is similar to mine. Also, your specific examples mentioning your own birth order and older brother is easy to understand message you want to say. Thank your posting and sharing your opinion!!!
ReplyDeleteHi, I'm Sunyoung Park from your class. I know that you've already got enough comments on your writing, but I just want to say a few words on it(It's not even counted as two comments which i should make too). I could find myself so excited while I was reading throughout your essay. You clearly point out what you think is reasonable and what is not. Also, I would say it was really impressive that you start a new paragraph with "I don't agree" which conveys your firm idea really effectively.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was having little trouble starting my own writing, yours helped me a lot. I could get a kind of sense how to start and shape my essay.
SO! Just wanted to say thank you! Thank you for sharing your idea:)