Time for a Change
It was unusual for women to work in the previous century. Most women stayed at home while men worked; women did not stand the chance to discover or fulfill their potential, and it has not been long since society started to approve of women standing equally with men. However, the conflict of working mothers is still unsolved. I have cut it down to two main points on methods for society to help the working mothers to balance their work as well as their household work. The first point is that society should reinforce the child care service, and the second point is that working women in Korea should be able to leave work on time.
Firstly, the number of child care service has already increased by a great amount. A Korean child care accreditation proposed that 80% of the child care facilities has been legally approved, whereas the 20% of the facilities has not. However, although these facilities has been approved, there are still many of them that are morally unrighteous. For example, child abuse is the biggest reason why parents hesitate to send their child to the day care service. Child care should be a place of justice and I believe the government should strengthen the service by paying extra attention on the child care service by checking up on these facilities frequently and only allowing verified facilities and services for the children, also by hiring well educated people who truly has a heart to take care of the children. If so, mothers would feel secure and safe at work and children would feel that they are taken care of. It will then be a win-win situation for the parents, the child care service, and the children.
Secondly, workers should be able to leave work on time. This is a law that people follows well in other countries such as the US. However in Korea, it is difficult to see workers who leave on the original given time. When I filmed a show in Los Angeles, the crew were strict about the given time. For instance if the film time was from 12pm to 8pm, they would stop working at 8. However in Korea, many workers spend the night flat-out working at the office or because their boss had not leave. Well, there is just no time to walk on eggshells. The government should hurry on and reinforce the system of allowing workers to leave on time especially because working mothers has a household to take care of, and it is said that the hardest job in the world is to the household work.
In conclusion, as much as professional success is important, it is the parents' responsibility to take care of their children. Society has had enough latchkey kids wandering around without knowing when their mothers would be back home. I believe the conflict of working mothers should be quickly solved and the government should take actions on making good solutions to help working mothers to balance their career as well as their household work.
Hey, I'm Minyong from P&P.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I liked your writing! I loved that you gave enough supporting materials based on your experiences in real life. I got absorbed in what you had to say, and that's a good sign. Keep up the good work!
However, the main points you offered were a little bit cliché. I understand that those two are the fundamental points, but maybe it could have been better if you had offered something new. To be concise, give us information we don't already know.
Thanks!
Hello Christina this is Aya!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how real and substantial your essay was. You gave real statistics to prove your point and you gave real concrete solutions to a real social prphlegm which is a very big deal when it comes to writing if you ask me !
HI, I'm Hye-ri from your class.
ReplyDeleteI love your introduction. Your introduction made me interested in your writing and want to keep reading. Women's rights have been approved, but there are some problems related with their rights. This makes readers curious for what the problems are and how we can solve them. Also your organization of writing is really clear and easy to understand. But, I want to tell you that there are some unclear parts in your writing. For example, in first part of body, you said that Child care should be a place of justice. It is abstract to me, so I don't know exactly what you mean. But your writing really makes sense and is interesting. Thank you for sharing!!
Hey Christina It's sunyoung from your class
ReplyDeleteIt's great that you used statistics to back up your opinion. Also, great use of your own experience as an example! Thank you for sharing!